Beauty Time Blunders
by TotallyEclipsed77
Summary: Does anyone ever wonder what Bella and Alice talk about during their Makeover time. I do. This is when everyone is out hunting and Bella must be babysat, so the job goes to Alice who uses the time to fill her makeover quota. Bella is human. A one shot.


**A/N:** _Ok so this idea just randomly came to me and I couldn't not use it. It's just a silly little one shot. This takes place during one of the times Bella has had to be babysat by Alice where she is forced into a makeover. I couldn't help but wonder about what they could talk about during those times. They are all vampires while Bella is still human, Same old deal.Enjoy._

**Disclaimer:** _Sadly none of these characters are mine._

I sat in the low soft chair eyeing the tools of torture warily. How much pain would I have to endure before my spirit was broken and I called uncle. Maybe I could try and think of a compromise to get out of this.

"I've seen your plan Bella, and I don't except. Just sit still and relax. This is fun." Alice informed me as she danced into the bathroom holding a bag full of makeup.

If I recalled correctly, fun was something you chose to do for your own enjoyment. My being forced into this seemed the farthest thing from fun.

"Alice couldn't we just so something else. Anything. I might even go shopping willingly." Oh deal lord did I just say that. Please don't let her except that last part.

"Bella," she gave me a pout and looked at me with sad eyes. " Don't you like to spend this time with me?"

How could I say anything mean when she looked so sad.

"Of course I love to spend time with you Alice. I just don't see why you insist on giving me make over, when it is obvious it don't make me look any better."

"You are so silly sometimes Bella. Oh and I will be taking you up on that shopping offer," she told me after a moments pause. I could hear her tinkling laugher echo within the bathrooms.

Well now I was really in for it. A make over and I was now going to have to go shopping with her in the near future. Lucky me.

Seeing that she had won, Alice began her "fun". I, being the child that I am, decided to silently sit and sulk.

It wasn't until after a few minutes that my curiosity got the better of me and caused a question to bubbly past my lips.

"Alice have you ever fallen. I mean had one clumsy moment, even if you are a vampire." I had wondered about that the first time I saw her gracefully walk in gliding steps. I doubted very much that she would, but I still wondered. Someone as hopelessly clumsy as me can't help but hope others share my misfortune.

She paused with the curling iron poised in her hand.

"Even if I'm a psychic, you always seem to catch me off guard with some of the things you ask." She mused for a moment and the replied very seriously. "Once when I had been focusing on Jasper and worrying about him controlling myself I did. I was walking up the steps and I was so focused, I didn't hear Emmett come up behind me. He started laughing loudly, and it startled me. My foot somehow managed to slip off the step and I tripped. Emmett wouldn't stop teasing me about it for months."

She gave a small laugh at her confession and resumed her attack on my hair. I sat shocked, trying to wrap my mind around Alice ever having a clumsy moment. Course a trip was hardly a serious problem, when I was close to on my death bed every moment I lifted my foot. It almost seemed almost apocalyptic that Alice really had tripped, and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Don't laugh at me Isabella Swan, although I should thank you," I gave her a questioning look. "Now I don't really have to worry about Emmett bring it up again, he has more then enough things to laugh at with you around."

I tried to glare at her as she laughed, but it only seemed to make her laugh harder making me crack a grin.

"Hey, it isn't easy being a mortal enemy with balance. It's a hard life to lead," I told her.

"I don't think I've ever met someone who falls more then you. I'm surprised you aren't seriously crippled from all your little accident's I've seen." Alice said as she continued to style my hair.

"You haven't even seen anything bad Alice. Some of the accidents I've had in the past are just ridiculous." If only she knew some of my more embarrassing moments.

"Oo now I want to know."

Why did I open my mouth.

"I don't know Alice, some of them are really bad," I shouldn't of mentioned any of it. Now should wouldn't leave me alone for sure until she got the answer.

"Please Bella. I'll cut the next shopping trip down to 3 hours instead of 7 if you tell me. That's a sacrifice for me." How could I argue against that. If I got out of shopping, even for a few hours then I was a happy girl.

"Fine, but you have to swear not to tell Emmett, and DEFINITELY not Edward." Thankfully everyone was out hunting with Edward, otherwise I wouldn't of said yes no matter what she offered.

"Yay!" She exclaimed as she jumped up and down. She put down the torture device and pulled up a chair in front of me. "I know this will be good."

Signing heavily, I couldn't help but smile a little at her enthusiasm. Alice really was an easy person to like, when she wasn't trying to smother me with hair spray and eyeliner. At least this would be a way to distract myself from Edward's absence. I always felt a wave of depression when he was hunting.

Pulling myself back to the present, I looked to Alice's eager honey eyes and decided on what to share first.

"Ok Alice, since you said your like tripping up the stairs event, I'll share my own." Best to start off with a safe one incase anyone came home early. " This was back in Phoenix and I was late for school. I forgot something in my room, so I ran up the steps to go get it. Well you know how running and me mix, so my foot slipped off of a step and I leaned forward to catch myself. In that motion I managed to knee myself in the jaw. It was so bruised it looked like I had been punched, and my jaw popped for weeks."

Alice sat before me shaking silently with laughter, and just seeing her like that made me laugh along as I blushed.

"What did everyone at school say about it?" She asked through a giggle.

"They all thought I got in a fight, so I joked around and said 'You should see the other girl.' Needless to say, that didn't boost my already low popularity. Everyone thought I was serious."

"You didn't. That is such an Emmett thing to say. Are you sure you hadn't met him before now?" Alice chuckled and shook her head in amusement. " Tell me another one, that can't be the worst that has happened."

"There are a few that may be a tad worse," I answered. There was no way she would get all of them out of me.

"Oh come on Bella. Just think, if you don't tell me I'll just ask Renee or Charlie. I'm sure they've seen a few epic accidents on your part. Plus if you tell me, then I can know things to look out for, for you." Alice pleaded with me.

I might as well be the one to tell her. She would find out on her own eventually. The pixie could do anything.

"Alright." I answered in defeat. "You know how Renee likes to pick up new hobbies? It was around Christmas time and she decided that knitting me a scarf was an intelligent idea, especially in the scalding Phoenix heat. She wasn't very good at it, and most of her scarves came out with big holes in them where she knotted the yarn or dropped a stitch. So Christmas eve comes around, and she got frustrated with her attempts, so she left her needles on the couch shoved between the cushions."

"Oh no! I see where this is going." Alice interrupted with a snort.

"Mhmm. I tripped over the leg of our coffee table and fell onto the couch. One of the needles managed to stab into my upper thigh about an inch in. I pulled th needle out and blacked out shortly after that. That Christmas I got ice and a Tetanus shot." I finished with a huge flush in my cheeks. I'd never told anyone that story.

"Bella that is terrible." Alice told me through a monstrous batch of giggles. I finally ended up joining her. Best to laugh along, then to be laughed at. Plus, the story was pretty amusing if I pretended it wasn't about me.

"Hah, please Bella, haha, tell me another one." She gasped though her heavy laughter. I'm sure if she could cry, the tears would be running down her face.

"I don't know if you can handle it Alice. You seem ready to combust right now. What do I tell Jasper when he comes home and finds you a pile of burning vampire chunks." I teased.

"Just one more. Please. This is way to good entertainment to pass up." She said, after she finally sobered up her laughing.

"I'll let that entertainment comment slide, if you give me veto power on two outfits the next time you force me into shopping." I wagered in a serious voice. Best to get something in return if I was going to be sharing my embarrassing little secrets.

I watched Alice brood over my idea with a grimace. Only Alice could think it painful not to enjoy shopping.

"I'll agree to that if you promise to keep the complaining to a minimum." She finally answered.

"Deal," I returned. I could mange to real in my disdain for the activity, if it meant I had at least some power.

"This better be a good one Bella."

"Oh it is." I blushed just thinking about the little stunt I was about to share. " It was Halloween and I was about seven. Renee forced me into a black and orange dress and little dress shoes for a school party we were having that day. So, I was out at recess and I started to run on the tar towards the slide. I didn't realize that my shoes didn't have treads, so I slipped and fell on my face. Since I had been running so fast, my lower lip scrapped across the tar. I couldn't eat any candy after trick-or-treating that night, and I was a very fat lipped princess."

I could barely get the last words out as I watched Alice's face grow more and more strained from her fighting down the laughter.

Finally my own giggles of mirth burst out, followed by hers.

I sat clutching her cold hard arms trying to steady myself as the tears started to leak from my eyes and I gasped for breath. Alice wasn't doing much better, as her body shook with laughter.

The whole conversation was exceedingly more amusing just because Alice found it so funny. Despite my embarrassment, I still found it all extremely funny. I really was a hopeless klutz.

"Bella how are you not dead? I can't even imagine the millions of accidents you have gone through." She snickered at me as she slowly regained her composure.

"I honestly don't know. Edward seems to think my time was up the day I met him, but I think it is quite obvious my time was up from the day I was born."

Alice paused in her laughter with a blank stare, and I could see she was having a vision. I waited patiently and it allowed me time to breath normally and stop giggling. She finally came to with a blink and she looked back at me.

"Speaking of Edward, he will be home in exactly 20 minutes along with everyone else. We better finish you up." Alice jumped up and commenced her beauty work again.

Much to my surprise the day had been fun, but I was glad that Edward was coming home. Even when I had been distracted, I could still feel the ache in my heart as our time apart grew longer.

Alice used her vampire speed to finish putting loose curls in my hair. She put on a little eyeliner and mascara along with some shimmery pink lip gloss. She ran to her closet and handed me a bag, while giving me the "don't bother arguing" look.

Opening the bag, I was glad to see it looked like a fairly simple outfit. A pair of low-rise jeans and a pretty blue three-quarter sleeve top with a boat neck. For once something normal. Nothing sequined or super exposing this time.

I looked up and saw Alice's smug smile. Rolling my eyes to thank her on a good choice, I put it on and sat back in her makeup chair tapping my foot.

"It's not even 5 minutes left Bella, don't be so impatient." She chided my fidgeting, but giggled ruining her sternness.

"I know. I just miss him." I told her. I then had a flash of fear. "Alice, you still promise not to tell anyone my stories right? Even though none of those accidents did me in, I know the embarrassment of anyone else knowing about them would."

"Don't worry so much Bella. I can block them from Edward, and I promise not to tell Emmett. I do however, look forward to future stories of your little mishaps." Alice told me with a giggle.

"What makes you think I'll tell you about any more of my embarrassing accidents?" I questioned. I didn't want to give Alice too much ammunition to use against me.

She tapped her temple with a smile. "I would know of how to convince you, now wouldn't I." Darn psychic vampire.

I glowered at her, but that only caused her to laugh. It was just then I felt a cool finger trace a line down my neck.

"Edward!" I squealed in excitement, and jumped up turning to face him. I threw my arms around him.

I felt him chuckle as his strong chilled arms wrapped around my waist pulling me tight to him. I looked up into his beautifully marble carved face. My heart raced and I couldn't help but smile as I looked over his perfection and finally into his liquid topaz eyes that shined with love.

"Hello love, I take it you missed me," he purred to me in his velvety voice as his stunning crooked grin flashed across his face. His sweet, mouth-watering breath blew in to my face. "You look as breathtaking as ever my Bella."

My face flushed at his compliment, and I was only able to let a nod pass as my "eloquent" reply. I was too dazzled to do more to nod. If I opened my mouth to speak I would of surely drooled.

"We have spent too much time apart today." Edward said as we pulled apart and he tugged me towards the door.

Suddenly a look of confusion passed over his face and he paused while glancing from me to Alice.

"What?" I asked him, feeling as equally confused as he looked.

"Why was I just told to be careful of knitting needles?" He questioned looking more confused, as there was a peal of giggles heard behind me.

* * *

**A/N: **_I just wanted to share a tid bit now that you have finished reading. Sadly all of those accidents that happened to Bella...happened to me. I am a Klutz. Not a fun thing to be. But I just thought it would be funnier if I used things that actually happened to me. So now that you know, you have my permission to laugh at me all you please. Review and tell me what you think of my "grace" and my story. haha._

_p.s. Be sure to read my story Tears to Tell if you are interested in an All Human one. Ive been told it is great, so I will relay that on to those who have read this. _


End file.
